I've been running away. Running from friends, family and self. I don't know why I'm doing this but i just need to be alone.
I don't want to be someone who take advantage of others, who only find friends when you are lonely, sad or bored. I think it better that I'm on my own now and lately, friends wasn't really there for me. It hurt but it the truth. Where my gfs? Where my clonney? Where my twin? where my bfg? I guess all of us are all busy with own life i guess. So I'm trying to not rely on anyone.
For two months, I've been in and out of hospital almost every single day. And it has been 3 months i didn't work. Was planning to return, but mum needs me. Everyday I'm worried about money. Everyday worried for mummy's condition.
I'm tired, literally I'm exhausted but who am i to complain, Mum suffer more with this sickness. So i just have to suck it up.
I miss dad.
Sometimes i wish i had someone to share this emotions but how is that someone going to exist if i keep running away.
I miss Putehh. Atleast if she were still here by my side, i wont be alone. Atleast i had someone to talk to and cry to even when she couldn't talk.
Suck it up Hidayahhhhhh~